This post is to wish my beautiful friend Sarah the very best of everything as she prepares to fly back to Australia tomorrow to resume the life she and her wonderful late boyfriend Paul had made together. I know she hates to be called ‘brave,’ and feels she has dealt with all that has happened over the past weeks and months as anyone would in the same circumstance, but nonetheless she has been an inspiration to me. Her warmth and humour have been a shining light in what has been an utterly dark time, not only for her but for her family, Paul’s family and all of their friends. Paul’s passing was grossly unfair, an utter tragedy whose sadness knows no bounds. And yet as is always the case, out of this most horrendous of tragedies have sprung some small green shoots of hope. The outpouring of love for Paul has shown his beautiful spirit will live on forever, and I sincerely hope that Sarah feels the warmth of everyone’s affection shining on her every day of her life, as she most truly deserves. I wish you all the luck and love and happiness in the world gorgeous girl. Have a safe journey and soak up that Sydney sunshine for those of us you’re leaving behind. And always remember, physical distance is nothing, it’s what’s in your heart that counts. Which means wherever you are, Paul and all of us will be there too. xxxx
Category Archives: Real life
NaNo Day 5 update: The onset of insanity
To sum up today in two words I would use the following: unbelievably manic. Lunchtime came and went without a break, and by five o’clock it had become apparent I would struggle to achieve my daily word count for NaNo unless I not only gave up any intention of fulfilling the obligatory exercise quota for day two (two!! Talk about failing at the first – well, second, hurdle) of my marathon training plan, but also stayed in the office to write aforementioned NaNo story rather than going home before tonight’s fireworks display in Brockwell Park. I shall, therefore, remain at work for another hour with the sole intention of bashing out as many words as I can so that I might just have a guilt-free (lack of exercise aside) night out.
This, friends, is a typical day in the life of a NaNo-er; clawing back minutes here and there to pad out an ill-thought out story that even by day five (of thirty!) seems to be falling apart. Not that I will let this stop me, for I have been in this position before. Thus far I’ve been half-hearted in my attempt at fitting writing into my life, but from this point forward the metaphorical gloves are off. It’s not good enough to write in dribs and drabs, writing sessions must be sustained and productive. I KNOW this, but now I need to make the effort to ENFORCE it.
Despite our love-hate relationship, writing is my baby. And nobody puts baby in a corner.
Grinning through the gloom
Whether on a micro or a macro level, it’s an undeniable fact that life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to. No matter how well we lay our plans, the boiler will always break just as we want a shower, the supper will always spoil when we have guests for supper, and giving the customer services team of our bank/mobile phone supplier/energy provider a ‘quick’ ring in our lunch hour will rarely, if ever, be either quick or satisfactorily resolved. It will always rain when we have no umbrella, our bosses will always walk up to our desk at just the moment we flick onto Facebook, and the chain on our bike will always come off when we’re at our most red-faced and unattractive (not to mention in the busiest part of town).
But whilst it sometimes feels like things are sent to thwart us, in reality they are just part of the rich tapestry of life. In some ways it can even be such unexpected occurrences that change the metaphorical direction in which we’re travelling, forcing us to take stock of a situation and re-evaluate it, then change the way we choose to deal with it.
Whatever the reason (or lack thereof) for things going wrong, dwelling on them isn’t going to solve anything. Provided those things aren’t matters of life and death, it’s probably safe to say that they will pass and we will emerge from whatever storm that descended upon us relatively unscathed. It is, of course, easier said than done that we can slap a smile on our faces and grin through the gloom in every circumstance, but if we can remember that this too shall pass we’re half way towards winning the battle.
On being nice to strangers
This weekend I’ve witnessed two exchanges between strangers that have made me feel quite sad about our capacity, as humans, to be unpleasant to one another.
The first was yesterday at the bar of the British Film Institute. There was a bit of a queue building up and when the girl who was serving asked who was next and a woman began to order her drink, the man beside her said, “Actually I think you’ll find I’ve been waiting longer than her.” The woman who was ordering turned to him and explained her film was about to start and that she was in quite a rush, but instead of letting her go in front of him he began to order a round of three drinks and food. Not only that, he nastily said to her, “I don’t care about your film.”
The second incident was today on a bus travelling along Oxford Street, when a middle aged Caribbean woman started needlessly laying into a rather overweight elderly (possibly also homeless) gentleman for – as far as I could discern given the distance between us – blocking the aisle by standing in it instead of sitting down. As he had a lot of bags in the luggage rack I thought it was quite obvious why he had chosen to stand rather than sit, but the woman wouldn’t let up with her rude questioning and by the time I disembarked the atmosphere on the bus was frosty to say the least.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, why can’t people just be nice to one another? Life is hard enough as it is without being kicked by strangers when you’re feeling down. A little kindness goes a long way, and if we can’t be kind to one another then we can at least be civil. Remember the old saying “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”? Well, that. And that’s all I’ve got to say on the matter.
I <3 London (& Family)
It’s all too easy to live in London and never appreciate the breadth and scope of cultural activities that can be done here. Which is precisely why I always welcome an enlightening day with my mum and stepdad, being shown around parts of this city I call home that I might otherwise never have explored. Today’s highlights were a guided tour through the history of painting at the National Gallery (which also included a delightful lunch of cheese and wine), a matinee at the British Film Institute on the South Bank (1960s film Nothing But a Man) and dinner at the Oxford and Cambridge Club on Pall Mall, where my stepdad is a member. I always feel a little out of place there, but nonetheless love the atmosphere and splendour, in particular the stunning dining room with its old school charm and chandeliers. After dinner we had a night cap at the Archduke jazz bar in Waterloo before heading home for an episode of Breaking Bad (we’re now up to season three and it breaks my heart to think that soon we’ll be completely up to date and will have watched them all). I even managed to add another 500 words to my NaNo novel this morning before venturing out – admittedly I haven’t achieved my word count for today but I’m not worried, the story’s going great guns so far and tomorrow is a brand new day with lots of opportunity to catch up. Anyway, in short it’s been a great and inspiring day, spent with the people I love most in the whole world. I’m a very lucky girl.
NaNoWriMo: Day One
It’s 1.14pm on day one of NaNoWriMo and as yet I haven’t written a single word of my new novel. Not perhaps the MOST promising start, but I’m not panicking just yet. Why? Because I HAVE A PLAN – and it goes a little something like this:
- Work like a demon (right through lunch) until 4pm
- Leave office and install self in caffeine-vending establishment (Café Nero and Costa both being less than 100ft from office)
- Write as if life depends on it until 6.55pm
- Walk five minutes to restaurant to meet friends
- Celebrate successful first day of NaNo with a glass of chilled Pinot Grigio
Of course the fact that a) I have about three days’ worth of work to cram into the next three hours and b) I’m still not at all sure how the first chapter is going to start are both somewhat concerning threats to the ultimate achievement of this plan. But as historically my best work has always been done under pressure I choose to regard these challenges as opportunities for greatness rather than barriers to success. The first day of NaNo is not a time to fall apart. It is a time to indulge in superhuman amounts of self-confidence.
I am a writing super hero. I WILL succeed.
Reasons to be winter-ful
Unless you have been living in a cave for the past few days it cannot have escaped your attention that the nights are drawing in. Winter, dear friends, is coming – as we all knew it would (although we clung to the warm weather like limpets to a rock). But the demise of British Summer Time need not send us spiralling into a depression. Summer has gone, that much is true, but far from being summer’s miserable cousin, winter brings with it a whole new list of reasons to be happy. Reasons like:
1. We can invest in new bedding
When winter arrives and the sunlight hours decrease it is more crucial than ever that we get a good night’s sleep, not least to fight off the threat of Seasonal Affective Disorder. So as the colder months approach what better way to prepare than with some goose down pillows and a nice 13.5 tog goose down duvet? S.A.D? Not me. I’m Z.Z.Z…..
2. We can buy new clothes
Last year’s wardrobe’s been eaten by moths? Never mind, you can always clear it out and invest in some new choice threads to keep your smile white hot when the temperature drops…
3. Animal hats are back in vogue
…and animal slippers, ear muffs, slipper socks…
4. We have an excuse to get the hot water bottle out of retirement
What can be better than retiring to bed with a miniature heater and a good book? Cosy.
5. We can drink hot chocolate like it’s going out of fashion
For the rest of the year it would seem gluttonous, but when winter rolls around it’s perfectly acceptable to drink hot chocolate every day. Yum.
6. It’s CHRIIIISSSSTMAAAAAS
Okay, so not everyone loves the festive season, but surely everyone appreciates having some time off work?
7. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…
Snow crocodile anyone?
See? Winter’s not so bad after all – embrace it!
Gearing up for NaNo No.5….
Today I have been planning out the story for my NaNo* novel, the chapter notes for which you can see in today’s photo. I wish I could say I’m feeling totally prepared this time around, but the truth is there will once again be a significant element of winging it. Still, on the positive side a plot and characters are at last beginning to emerge, like (slightly reluctant) woodlice, from the (somewhat rotten) woodwork of my brain. And, more importantly still, I’m starting to feel that old glimmer of enthusiasm to get started, and the accompanying excitement to see what comes out once the month is underway.
This will be my fifth NaNo novel, the main difference being that this time around I’m determined to edit my novel until I’m 100% happy to submit it to agents, rather than consigning it to a dusty folder in My Documents, never to be touched again. I did submit three chapters of my first NaNo novel (some years ago now) to agents and received one encouraging rejection letter in return, but nonetheless the responses were all rejections. The reason for that, on looking back, was because I hadn’t made any real effort to edit it – as in, none at all. And if I couldn’t be bothered to spend time crafting it into something amazing, how could I expect people to want to spend time reading it? So this time will be different, and if nothing else comes of it I will teach myself the art and discipline of editing for when I do finally write the masterpiece that will catapult me into the JK Rowling stratosphere. Well, a girl can dream…
*National Novel Writing Month – Budding novelists should check it out!
When good (washing) machines go bad…
In western society we underestimate the importance of our household machinery working well, and the degree of inconvenience that is caused when it ceases to function as it should. A broken washing machine, as I have today discovered, is most inconvenient indeed (especially when it breaks mid-cycle whilst washing all but one of your towels, and your washing basket is groaning with the weight of unwashed garments needing to be cleaned).
It’s at times like this it becomes clear just how spoiled we westerners are. In the third world washing machines and such like are little more than flights of fancy. Clothes are washed in rivers or streams using bars of soap (if they’re lucky enough to procure them), and food (when available) is cooked on open fires or gas hobs, with small portions of rice being shared between whole families. I don’t want to sound preachy, but when things that we consider to be part of everyday life break down it’s helpful to remember that those things are not essential to our survival, but rather luxuries that we have come to rely on as such.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to find the nearest river and a bar of soap…
Peter Pan Syndrome
As I prepare to move seamlessly from an afternoon of sanding and varnishing furniture in a nursery to an all-night fancy dress (Halloween-themed) techno rave with twenty friends, it does occur to me the life I lead is sometimes a dichotomy of considerable proportions.
I’ve talked about my (late onset) love of fancy dress on this blog before, and have also touched more than once on my deep-seated fear that I should start acting my age. But the problem is this: I don’t want to. Yes, I’m thirty two now and yes, there is a palpably strong argument to be made that it’s time to slow down, rein in the partying and (wait for it) “settle down.” And yet the counter argument of thirty two no longer being ‘old’ in a society where everything is increasingly happening later in life is just as compelling.
There’s also the fact I have a boyfriend who is five years younger than me, which means that even if I wanted to tone down my social life I would struggle to do so without being labelled the ‘boring older woman.’ Not that I really care what I’m labelled these days (that being the only obvious benefit of growing up, as far as I can see).
Reading the above one might assume I’m out on the town every night. This, I’m happy to report, is very much not the case. I worked out the second I hit thirty that mid-week drinking in this decade and beyond would only bring me pain-not that I always manage to remember that, mind, but at least the slip ups are fewer these days. When I do go out I simply like to make sure that the occasion is steeped in fun-and how much more fun can you get than fancy dress? I’ll tell you: No more.
It could be argued that I have a severe case of Peter Pan Syndrome, and that may well be right, but you know what? When I’m old and grey and lying on my death bed I will never have cause for concern that I didn’t make the most of being young(ish). Come to think of it, I wonder if they do fancy dress parties in heaven…









